Branded to Kill (Seijun Suzuki, 1967)

Two posts in one day? Has he gone mad? Perhaps. Or maybe I just wanted to post my first negative review. That's right, one of the easiest people in the world to please was not pleased or even all that impressed with this Japanese gangster flick.

This is the story of a Japanese hit-man, No. 3 Killer. He really loves the smell of boiling rice, for some reason. I have no idea what that means, but I feel it should be mentioned as Suzuki inserts this fetish into just about every other scene. Anyway, the usually reliable No. 3 (I would assume anyway, considering he ranks third in what is bound to be a pretty difficult business) botches an assassination attempt when a butterfly lands on the barrel of his sniper rifle, obscuring the view of his target. Because of this he becomes the target of the famed No. 1 Killer. No. 1 decides to toy with his prey first, going so far as to move in with No. 3 providing just about the only entertainment in the film.

Suzuki hurtles the story through space and time at an incredibly brisk pace (particularly in the first half hour), often refusing to take the time to set up locations and situations, causing a rather confusing sense of geography for many scenes. The action takes place in a similarly disjointed manner. Sometimes things happen so quickly, they seem like the filmic equivalent of run-on sentences. Or, perhaps a better way to put it would be that Suzuki is that guy we all know who tells stories too fast, jumping over and skipping around some of the small details, the little ones that help the story make sense. Perhaps, in a way, Suzuki is not interested in perpetuating the illusion of the motion picture and wants us to remember that we are just watching a movie. I personally think he's just being lazy. Though, he does seem to have some sense of composition, sometimes creating fantastic images. But just as often his use of blocking becomes irritating.

Eventually, Suzuki slows down a bit and begins to construct something interesting. Hell, when No. 1 moves in with No. 3 it becomes damn entertaining. But, by then, it is far too little, far too late.

Monsieur Verdoux (Charles Chaplin, 1947)

It's about time I started keeping track of this thing again. So here's a brand spanking new, albeit short and shoddily written, review from yours truly.


Based loosely on a true story and originally planned by Orson Welles, Chaplin loved the idea and purchased the rights to the screenplay from Welles and spent the next four years rewriting it. Monsieur Verdoux is easily Chaplin's darkest film. The film centers on a Parisian bank clerk (Chaplin) who has been fired during an economic crisis. To provide for his wife and child he starts marrying moderately wealthy women and then murdering them to take their money when the need for it arises.

Chaplin mostly disposes of the physical comedy that made him the most famous man in the world and trades it in for a superbly written and darkly witty screenplay. But perhaps the biggest triumph is Chaplin's performance, the best of his career, in my humble opinion. At first he comes off as a bit sleazy, but as we progress through the story, we grow more fond of Verdoux and eventually come to somewhat sympathize with him. But really only just enough to understand why he's doing what he's doing, but without ever really condoning it.

At around two hours, this is also one of Chaplin's longest films. Comedy is a difficult thing to sustain for that time. For example, Chaplin's previous effort, The Great Dictator, had a similar running time, but became tiresome after awhile. This one, however, never runs out steam. It may become a bit preachy towards the end, but I'll forgive that. Chaplin's most intriguing and philosophical film may just be my favorite from him.

People Need to Chill Out and Shut Up

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past couple of days or you're deaf, dumb and blind and no one told you about it, Senator Barack Obama was awarded the Presidency of the United States on Tuesday night. This seems to be causing two very different, yet equally inane reactions. On one hand you have the idiots running around, beaming from ear to ear telling everyone within earshot that our savior has come to rescue us from the previous administration's multiple blunders. On the other idiotic hand you have people threatening to move to Canada or Mexico because we elected a "terrorist."

So I want to say one thing to both these groups: Chill the hell out. The man has yet to take office. We have no idea what our situation will be like one year from now. I doubt we are going to start crapping rainbows and I also doubt that America is going to become a Socialist state. So please, for the ones who are still sane, shut the fuck up.

Werckmeister Harmonies (Bela Tarr, 2000)

Werckmeister Harmonies, a Hungarian film from director Bela Tarr, takes place in a small village. Janos is an optimistic young man who is eagerly awaiting a mysterious circus that is about to roll through town, carrying with it a giant, stuffed whale and a mysterious person known only as the Prince, who may possess some otherworldly talents. Everyone in the village besides Janos is fearing what the circus may bring after hearing awful rumors that the Prince's followers have been ransacking the towns that the circus visits.

The film's story, in this case, may be secondary to the images. In the 145 minute running time, Tarr uses only 39 shots. His camera floats as smoothly as if it were on air. This is especially evident in the 11 minute opening shot that shows Janos, in a pub, explaining how an eclipse works to a group of drunken villagers. The camera in this film is like the Energizer Bunny. It just keeps going and going long after you figured it would stop. But, the craziest thing about it is that it always works and never feels like a gimmick.

The images do have their fair amount of help, though. There is not a bad performance amongst this group of actors. And the fantastic score, by Mihaly Vig, complements the film perfectly. It all adds up to a completely enveloping, if not totally comprehensible viewing experience.

The Inaugural Post

Welcome to the inaugural post of my blog. I hope you enjoy my maiden voyage into the world of blogging. I know what you're thinking. "What will be featured in this blog?" Good question! For the most part you will be treated to some poorly written, yet most likely entertaining film reviews. I'll probably also post things that aren't film related. If something pisses me off, you'll probably find it here. If something makes me laugh, that might end up here, too! Anything goes!

You're probably now thinking, "When will this here blog be updated?" Whenever I feel like it. For all you know I could lose interest in this blogging business five minutes from now and never post again, leaving these words to echo for eternity in the vast reaches of forgotten web pages.

So stick around for more messages soon. Or don't. I don't care.